Lemonade

I walked by a lemonade stand today, on my way home from work. Seriously - just on my street up by Bloor. A bonafide, little-kid-manned, lemonade stand. They were just packing up when I walked by or I definitely would have shelled out the 25 cents. They're the cutest kids too and so out of place in my cracked-out neighbourhood. They draw hopscotch on the sidewalk and they skip rope and say hi to everyone. They love Siris even though their mom doesn't want them getting too close. They make me think living on this street isn't that bad.

Ode to the homeless man of the week

Today right as I was sitting chain smoking and spilling my guts to a close friend about boy problems, a homeless guy asked us for change. We both smiled and muttered "Sorry..." and he smiled back and said "Don't be sorry...I hope you both have a great day." And you know, I felt like he meant it. And then he carefully emptied his water bottle right on the sidewalk in front of us, making a watermark on the sidewalk in the shape of a giant heart. I think I almost blushed, and it made my own heart feel good.

Attention Hallmark Executives...

The monkey themed greeting card seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur. I for one am outraged. What happened to brilliant photographs of chimpanzees wearing lipstick? Or suspenders? Or fine, even naked chimpanzees just making funny gestures? I've had to buy a ton of cards recently and not once could I find a monkey themed card - infuriating. Hallmark, have monkeys on greeting cards gotten less funny? The answer is OF COURSE NOT! I've got two weddings upcoming but do you think I could find a card with a picture of a chimpanzee wearing a veil? Nooooooo.

Do I need to spell it out? Birthdays: monkey eating a giant white cake with his hands and getting it all over his face. Come on! Valentines Day: monkey holding flowers, or better, one monkey giving another monkey a big smooch. Christmas: monkey in a Santa hat. The possibilities are endless, folks. It ain't that hard. The picture that goes with this post could be either "Doh, I forgot your birthday" or "Sorry I was such a Jackass..."

Do I have to resort to the internet for all my monkey greeting card needs? I mean, really. Hallmark, please! I'm shaking my head here.

Things that always cheer me up

Meh. I hate when I get into feel-sorry-for-myself-mode. Things that always make me feel better:

This picture.

Fuck, she's sooo cute, and sooo happy, I can't stand it.

Finding something new and hilarious at The Onion.

This website. You can substitute part of the URL for someone's name and it sings a fabulous "You Got Owned" song that never fails to make me laugh my head off, coupled with funny slide show of people/pets in ridiculous situations. Never gets old.

Chixdiggit! (yes, the dorky punk rock band from Calgary, AB) Also, the Beach Boys.

Buying pretty things. Gah, I'm such a girl.

Calling up old friends.

Sunshine. I need to move out of this basement, stat.

I love you, E-bay

Ebay is wonderful, but a slippery slope. Tips I have learned over the years: best not to surf ebay when under the influence... don't bother bidding if you can't be at a computer when the auction ends...find out how much shipping will cost you before you register a bid...place your "final" bid with 25 seconds remaining in the auction...place your real final bid with 10 seconds remaining...pay quick and be nice - feedback counts.

Fun stuff that E-bay has brought me over the years:

Liz Phair - Supernova b/w Combo Platter 7" Record.
On pretty blue vinyl no less.

Helium - Hole in the Ground b/w Lucy 7" Record.
This is rare and won me tons of indie cred back in the day. Haven't listened to it in about 6 years now.

Various Sanrio themed personalized return mailing address stickers.
Nothing like slapping a Hello Kitty return label on your taxes.

The Blue Lotus Tintin Poster.
I even corresponded in French with this dude.

Weird Vintage Tintin's-Dog-Snowy Children's Pull Toy.
To this day I have no idea what compelled me to buy this.

Rocket Dog Shoes - Two pairs.
Both discontinued styles, brand new, ridiculously cheap, and four years later I've finally worn them out. Ebay, I'm a comin'. Again.

Puma Sneakers.
So I thought they were baby blue, and they turned out to be uh, teal. Still cool.

Fallen Angels Movie Poster.
One of the coolest movie posters ever. The seller was in Germany and this took an eternity to arrive but was well worth the wait.

PVC Agility Practice Jumps and Weave Poles.
Yeah, I have no backyard and occasionally convert my living room into an obstacle course for my dog. And let's not talk about the size of my living room. These purchases are why I caution you about confirming shipping charges before you bid.

Epiphone Acoustic Guitar with pick-up.
The mother of all Andria E-bay purchases, but I'd been in love with this guitar for years and never thought I'd ever see it again anywhere. Overshot my max bid price about 4 times and I still don't regret it.

Elvis Presley Blvd Street Sign.
I finally caved to the many many pages of Elvis paraphenalia on E-bay, and as much as I love this, I have banned myself from further Elvis themed E-bay shopping.

Camoflauge Cat Collar with bell.
Oh, Pacman--I'm sorry.

Hank Williams Sr International Fanclub vintage key chain.
I couldn't not.