"Why I hate giving presentations to Important People" by Andria

Important People don't really want to sit through your presentation anyway, and they have cell phones and PDAs to get distracted by.

Important People comment on tiny things they find wrong in your presentation just because they can... and also because they want to see if you get thrown off by them calling you out on these mistakes, and they want to see if you'll bounce back. It's like reality television.

Presentations for Important People can go off track pretty fast (Important People like to go off on tangeants), and you never know what's going to take it there or if they'll let you bring it back.

Important People don't understand your job with anything more than an "extremely high level view" nor do they want to.

Important People rarely connect with you.

No matter how bad it actually goes, Important People always tell you what a great job you did as you're sitting down at the end of it. You're thinking "wait, they hated it. they didn't get the point! they asked so many hard questions" because you've felt like you've been at the wrong end of a firing squad forever...and then all of a sudden everyone is your friend again and everything you do is great.

Important people's assistants have to remember to write you emails thanking you, on the behalf of their designated Important Person, for your informative presentation.

And I guess just generally, putting together a presentation for Important People is hard work. With not much payoff.

Booourns.

My egomaniac of a dog

To this day, I still haven't been able to rid Siris of a really annoying habit she has. Whenever anyone walks by us on the sidewalk, if they're carrying a shopping bag, she absolutely has to check it out. People carrying shopping bags are awesome! Her tail's going crazy, she must make eye contact with the person, and then she can't resist turning her head and taking a sniff of the super amazing shopping bag, which is no doubt loaded with fantastic things that are all for her. If I wasn't paying attention, she'd probably have her head *in* the bag. These poor neighbours of mine, just trying to cart their stuff from point A to point B, end up with the biggest fan ever. And the look of disappointment on my poor girl when these people walk on by without acknowledging her or sharing their goodies- classic! Seriously - my crazy mutt thinks the entire world should be bringing her presents.

Kevin Clarke

There's this crazy homeless guy who's always in my work neighbourhood, Kevin Clarke. He's colourful alright. He's loud, and opinionated and in your face and "fuck the man". But you can tell he's really smart. And also incredibly creative. When he's ranting about something, it has a bit of a beat. And his words sound good together - in a weird poetic spoken word kind of way. He wears crazy robes, and he talks to everyone - he gets right in there; he won't be ignored. Often you just try to get away from him pretty damn quick. But he seems very happy. And very informed, very political. He's running for mayor for his third time - election day today!

I ran into him outside the Gladstone yesterday where I was having a cigarette with a few friends, and he made up this whole kind of rap about things about us - what we were wearing, making up a bit of a story about us. And then he shook a little can, and hey, I kind of wish I'd had a twoonie in my pocket. And then, even though noone gave him any money, he walked away smiling because we had enjoyed his performance. So, maybe he's actually not that crazy.

I found an old article from Eye about him which was pretty interesting. If you live in Toronto, I'm sure you know this guy - it's a good read.