Sunday, August 20, 2006

Attention Hallmark Executives...

The monkey themed greeting card seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur. I for one am outraged. What happened to brilliant photographs of chimpanzees wearing lipstick? Or suspenders? Or fine, even naked chimpanzees just making funny gestures? I've had to buy a ton of cards recently and not once could I find a monkey themed card - infuriating. Hallmark, have monkeys on greeting cards gotten less funny? The answer is OF COURSE NOT! I've got two weddings upcoming but do you think I could find a card with a picture of a chimpanzee wearing a veil? Nooooooo.

Do I need to spell it out? Birthdays: monkey eating a giant white cake with his hands and getting it all over his face. Come on! Valentines Day: monkey holding flowers, or better, one monkey giving another monkey a big smooch. Christmas: monkey in a Santa hat. The possibilities are endless, folks. It ain't that hard. The picture that goes with this post could be either "Doh, I forgot your birthday" or "Sorry I was such a Jackass..."

Do I have to resort to the internet for all my monkey greeting card needs? I mean, really. Hallmark, please! I'm shaking my head here.

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