Four entries per month - ha! So instead, I managed one, and barely. Somehow I thought this might happen. Better luck in February. Don’t people usually start out strong and then peter out? Not this girl! Why start out strong, even? Heh.
In my defense, I tried. I did write a long and boring entry about girl-drama in the Vet Tech program at Seneca. It was an intricate tale involving me being accused of being a microscope thief because I sat at a different lab station on the first day of fourth semester than I had all third semester, in one of my classes. (Yes, really! What nerve, I know!) It detailed the aftermath of this grave offense. But I ended up deleting this post because a) in retrospect, it just wasn’t very interesting and b) the earthquake in Haiti happened shortly after the post went up – which made it seem all the more stupid and irrelevant. When bad things happen in the world, I have a hard time writing about myself. And I have a hard time when bad things happen in the world, period. My heart feels heavy and I am glued to news programs about it, and my eyes well up when looking at photos in the Metro on public transit, and I feel helpless and insignificant when I imagine devastation on such a grand scale as what happened there. Poor Haiti. I still can’t stop thinking about it.
In my little life, things are marching forward. I started my once a week co-op at a downtown animal hospital, which is one less day a week that I have to trek out to King City. I’m on placement once a week until the end of April, and it’s a busy four-veterinarian practice so I’m learning lots. At school, it’s the semester-of-truth, where everything we’ve learned so far all comes together and we’re actually in real surgeries. It’s exciting, and interesting, and intimidating as hell. Last week, I was the Anesthetist for a cat neuter surgery. I placed my first catheter, hooked up the anesthetic circuit, delivered the IV fluids, and did all the monitoring. All this while commanding my hands not to shake and remembering to breathe. At some point in the next few months, I’m going to get to actually do the neuter surgery (aka the cutting off of the cat’s balls) myself! The day before my anesthetist debut, another group at school lost a cat on the table during their scheduled surgery due to embolism. The stakes are high. It’s scary stuff. This is what I signed up for though. I know what I’m doing, I’m just not confident yet. And that comes with practice. Animals know when you’re not confident though, so I’m gonna have to try to fake it til I make it, for now.
What else in January? I went on my first date in forever, and in a shocking-Andria-twist, it involved no alcohol. Of course, I have no business going on dates period, because I’m too damned busy to fit in a relationship of any kind, but this was before school started, so I did it anyway. Meh. He was intelligent at least, but our chemistry was better over e-mail and text messages. We lamely tried to get it together for a second date, but by then school had started, my schedule had become insane, and I don't think his ego could handle "my only window this week is here". I think we’re both glad. I am, anyway. Something was not right, no use trying to force it. And I’m going back to bar dates, or dinner and wine dates, for a little while -they’re more fun. If I can ever find anyone worth having a drink with. When you have all the time in the world, you don’t have to be so picky. When your life is as crazy as mine is, slotting in dates eats up time I could be spending with my friends. Who I already hardly ever see because I’m so busy with school and work. So I need to be picky, or so I tell myself. Otherwise, bad dates = wasted friend time.
Also in January – lots of friend counseling through love problems, and the head cold from hell! Oh, and Siris found love with a chubby young English Bulldog named Angus who just moved into our building! I have honestly never seen her so jazzed about another dog. She does her wiggly dance for him every time she sees him, and he thinks she’s pretty grand too.
Last, it’s looking like all the colleges in Ontario are going to go on strike sometime really soon. That’s 24 colleges in Ontario, including mine. Which is going to free up a lot more Andria-time (and cost me a lot more money, and probably extend my semester at least a month.) I’m trying not to think about it though, because I’ve got zero control over the outcome, and who knows, there’s still a chance a deal could be struck at the last moment.
But if my school’s on strike and I still don’t hit my four posts a month goal, then man, I really suck.